Let’s give an estimate and say I haven’t watched East Enders for about 10 years.
Now I have set the scene I’ll continue.
So my Mum flicks it on TV. It’s here, there’s no way out, and what is the first thing I see you say? Well it’s Danny fucking Dyer in a frilly pink dressing gown letting out the words “time to face the music”, at which point I figured it must be a special musical episode or something, right?
This is the point where I was expecting, nay, day dreaming of instant jazz hands and Danny belting out something along the lines of - “This old Victoria, oh I adore her but there’s plenty more things I really wish I was doinggg…”
He would then continue singing - “Wearing lacoste, getting nosh, doing coke, having a cheeky smoke. Football factory, kicking in fat Terry, while smashing the granny out of a dirty little slag”
But instead he just hugged some chick in a rug and said “don’t you worry girl”. Lame.